WATCHING PAINT DRY.....

We've been talking about painting our bedroom for the last three years."Honey, I'd like to paint the bedroom." "Honey, we REALLY need to paint the bedroom." "Honey, if we don't paint the bedroom, folks will think we've been mining for coal in there."

Honey finally told me it was time to paint so I made big plans. I bought a new bedding ensemble: sheets, pillowcases, comforter, shams, bedskirt, valances.....it was ALL totally coordinated. Then I went to work deciding on a color to paint the walls. This was not an easy task for me. I have trouble deciding between paper or plastic when they ask at the grocery store. The bedding was predominantly blue, but there were numerous shades of pink, cream and green in it, as well. I took one of the shams into the bedroom and held it up, doing a lot of squinting and trying to imagine what the whole room would look like. I pretty much ruled out pink from the get-go. I'm not really a "pink" kinda gal, even on my most "feminine" of days. And cream was out because we were going to be painting over cream. (The cream that white turns into after 15+years.) And I had painted the bathroom green a couple of years ago. That left only blue. OK, I had my paint color.....blue it would be.

Now, I'm not a handyman, or even a handywoman, but I think Home Depot is an awesome place. I only had one small problem: getting past the supremely futuristic refrigerator they had blocking the entrance. Man, if I had an extra 15 million bucks lyin' around, that's the one I'd be gettin'.

I did eventually make it to the paint department.....and immediately had a "decision meltdown". There were at least four brands from which to choose: Behr, Porter, Disney and some "designer" paint which I knew from the name would be out of my price range. And the Disney paints seemed to be geared more toward playrooms and circus tents. That narrowed the field by two. But I'm still basically faced with the "paper or plastic" decision. And, as I stated, at the very least, I get sweaty and my head starts to pound when faced with even minor decisions. (Some of you may think picking out a paint color IS minor, but it's not. I mean, if I decided that I had made the wrong choice when choosing paper over plastic at the grocery story, I could just throw the mistake away. But I'll have to look at these walls every time I wake up for the next 15 years. [remember, we don't paint very often])

AHA! I'll ask that knowledgable-looking man (wearing an apron with his name written in magic marker on the chest). He and I spent the next 15 minutes discussing the various pros and cons of Behr and Porter paints with a few offhand remarks thrown in by an impartial bystander. And it was decided that Behr is the paint of choice.

I then turned around and was confronted with the Behr paint display. I wish I had a dollar for every shade of blue on that display. (I could have hired the whole job out.....including the decision-making!) ARGGHHHHHH!!! Talk about a headache. I had taken one of the shams along with me and was nearly reduced to tears trying to pick just one shade of blue off of it to try and match. Forty-five minutes later, after accosting a couple of strangers for their opinions, much muttering and swearing under my breath and again consulting with the apron-clad paint expert, I made a choice: Viking (trust me, it's blue).....two gallons, semi-gloss, non-returnable. (The non-returnable part nearly did me in.) I went toWal-Mart and picked up an all-inclusive set of rollers, brushes, masking tape and all the other accoutrements needed by the "paint-a-room-once-every-15-years-whether-it-needs-it-or-not" school of thinking.

I think it turned out very well. And Honey only threatened to quit twice during the painting process. (After the second time, I thought it wise to keep my comments to MYSELF considering that he was doing it all by HIMSELF.) Thanks, Honey. I "HEART" you!!